Some mornings I still wake up feeling slightly hungover. Now that we’re ten days on, Jason Vale says that (apparently) all the physical effects of alcohol are gone, so I’m guessing it’s other stuff that’s dragging at me on mornings like this. Of course, this morning has its own particular issues as I’ve been fasting since 7pm last night, so I may have a low-glucose, low-caffeine headache, but this isn’t the only morning I’ve woken up feeling super foggy-headed and weighed-down.
I’m actually blaming my sinuses for quite a bit of it. I can breath just fine through my nose, but I can feel the weight and pressure of a blocked sinus in the background. About three weeks ago I discovered Sudafed, which is a remarkable drug for decongesting and restoring some of the energy stolen by the foggy head-cloud that comes with it. And of course it is! The active ingredient is psuedoephedrine – luckily low on the addiction front, but all the same, it’s not something I want to be taking on the regular.
After my recent scary experiences with the side-effects of long-term medication, and the creeping way the side-effects can build up in your system so that you don’t necessarily even realise it’s happening – like the apocryphal frog being slowly boiled having entered a pan of cold water that’s slowly heated – I’m just feeling wary of anything that isn’t resolved by a short-term course of medication. If there are on-going symptoms in my body (like my migraines, and now this sinus issue) then I feel like I must find some other route to solving the underlying issue, rather than just chomping down drugs to mask the symptoms. Maybe it’s stress, maybe it’s allergies, maybe it’s a combination, or something else that I haven’t figured out yet. I know that doing yoga goes some way towards relieving the sinus symptoms, so that’s something to explore.
So anyway, my writing has been split in two this morning as I’ve had to head to the GP for my annual Glucose Tolerance Test (and other fasting bloods) – hence why no eating since 7pm last night. It’s a long and boring procedure; I get my fasting bloods taken, drink a certain volume of a glucose drink (which is yucky and sticky and feels like drinking glycerol) and then wait for 2 hours (during which time I may not move or do anything, so I just have to sit and sit and sit in the practice waiting room) before they take a second set of bloods to see how I have responded.
I have to do this every year because I developed Gestational Diabetes when I was pregnant with the boys. This puts me at a higher lifetime risk of developing Type 2 diabetes. Also both my grandfather and my brother both developed type 2, and that’s an additional risk factor. And then there’s my weight.
I bought another weighing scales – it’s been about 9 months since I’d weighed myself, and when I tried to “check in” on New Year’s Day, I discovered that the scales which had been on the way out for some time, had finally given up the ghost. I didn’t really mind. I can be unhealthy (mentally) in the way in which I weigh myself. Daily is too often, and I would even start to do it several times a day, and all too often it would set my mood for the entire day. I really don’t want to go back to living like that. I accept that my weight is an issue. And it’s probably more of an issue that simply coming off alcohol is going to solve, but it’s a deep-seated issue, and I don’t believe that diets are the solution at all. I believe that diets just end up giving you (well, me anyway) an even more disordered relationship with food.
But I’ve talked about that before. (And I’m guessing I will talk about it again.)
Back to my new scales – it measures body fat and muscle and all that extra stuff to feel bad about. I weighed myself this morning, and I haven’t really lost very much (maybe a pound?) since stopping drinking. I feel a little disappointed about that, but also not surprised. As I’ve said before, I have this feeling that the 100 day mark is when things will start to change there. I certainly shouldn’t be too surprised that there hasn’t been an overwhelming change after 10 days!
I do have more energy though – maybe not this morning in particular when I’m battling this sinus /glucose /caffeine /whatever headache. But across the days – I went shopping yesterday and took a trip to two different stores with the children and cooked an “actual” dinner and got some school-work correcting done. Previously any one of those things would probably have collapsed me for the rest of the day.
So. Some progress anyway!