This is the first day of my Summer holidays. Except it’s not really, because I’m in no way finished with my school tasks just yet. Maybe Monday will be. But I don’t have classes, and I have no time where I have to be dressed and primped and at a certain location for all of the next 12 weeks. And that’s nice.

My hackles raised slightly this morning when another parent at school drop-off commented “Ah but ye teachers really have it great, don’t ye?”. I guess it shouldn’t bother me that the perception of the teaching profession is one of dossers who get a great job that’s easy to do plus 3 months paid vacation per year. But we’re all a bit at the mercy of societies perceptions of us, and try as I might, it does get under my skin slightly.

I explained nicely that – having previously worked in industry – my feeling was that you do the same amount of work in the 12 months of a year in either profession, but that teachers do their work in a slightly more intense burst. The person seemed to be mostly accepting of what I was saying, but who wants to get into an intense discussion at 8:45 when surrounded by about twenty 4-5 year olds.

I don’t really go in for trying to convince other people of the difficulties of my job. Oh I want to – I want to rant a lot of the time, and I do from time to time, to colleagues and husbands. Strictly within the echo chambers of work and home. You see, I don’t really think I’m likely to change the firmly held opinions of most people. And trying to argue the facts just comes across as defensive. There are a lot of benefits to teaching as a career – just as there are to many other jobs. But for some reason, teachers are called upon to justify the benefits. Honestly, I don’t think there should be a need for that. The benefits are one of the reasons I do it. Otherwise I would choose something else to fund my lifestyle.

Anyway, I can feel myself getting riled up again! I really don’t want to get into that tangle. What other people think about me is none of my business.

I’m feeling annoyed by the fact that my weight went up a little this week. And it’s triggering me to want to spend time in unhealthy and restrictive behaviours. I’m not doing loads of running this week, taking time off to let my muscles and joints recover before the marathon relay this coming Sunday. But that’s not the reason my weight went up.

It’s because I eat too much sugar. And somehow I’m also blaming coffee a little bit. I’ve been having coffee every morning for the past couple of weeks, and I know it doesn’t make me feel good. See, it kind of does make me feel good on some levels. I love the smell of it and the ceremony of the Nespresso machine and the little capsules. I like the taste a lot. Do I love the effects? I’m not even sure I notice the effects much at the moment. That’s the thing about coffee, to really notice the supposed boost, I think you have to take it only rarely.

But all the same, I know I get withdrawal effects, so it’s nice to fend off any potential caffeine headache. But caffeine headache aside, it’s hard for me to put my finger on why tea won’t do the same things for me. I like green tea, herbal teas, all different types of tea. But somehow it doesn’t hit those same morning notes. Like an escape. Drawing some image of myself.

I’m not sure.

But I don’t like the reflux and upset stomach. I don’t like the way that I think it affects my heart rate. And I don’t really like feeling beholden to or addicted to anything, and coffee is definitely getting into that arena for me.

Also, coffee drinking is problematic in some other ways. For one thing huge swathes of the industry are exploitative. And those Nespresso Capsules + Environment = not really good. Here we all sit this morning criticising Trump for pulling out of the Paris accords (and that is bad for sure!) but at the same time, I won’t give up Nespresso? Or even cut down on it. Not to mention coffee cups, which I’ve just recently learned don’t get recycled!

All this to say … less. Let’s just do less coffee again. Even just on a personal awareness level – I am aware that too much of it makes my body feel bad. And that is not a responsible thing to do to myself.