I am “hmmm”ing about my “Rest” book at the moment. The introductory 2 chapters were incredibly academic and dense and filled with that most boring (to me) feature of these types of writings: repetition. Okay, so you’ve said once that brains at rest show more connections in a particular area of the brain denoted “DMN” (Default Mode Network, although I seem to have stored it as “De-Militarized Zone), okay I’ve got it. I don’t need a whole chapter of citations repeating the same thing from different angles. Pop you references into an Appendix and I’ll check them out if I’m interested, intrigued or unsure.

I think I have a bit of a failing of repetition though. I used to get chastised by my English teachers in the way back when for not expanding and repeating my points thoroughly enough. In my mind, saying it once was enough. The explanation was trivial in my mind and people should be able to extrapolate from what I’d said.

I think there’s probably a happy balance though, and in my older age I’m maybe approaching more of it. Certainly as a teacher I’ve had to learn the value of repetition and examining and presenting problems from multiple angles. It’s not about people “being stupid” or “less capable” of automatically getting concepts, it’s often about a difference in perception. They just need an angle of approach that suits where they’re currently seated and that’s pretty unlikely to be the angle I have if I’m experienced with a topic, or have spent a long time studying or thinking about it. In fact, how likely is it that someone approaches a problem from exactly the same angle as another person even when they’re both new to it?

But I digress. I was complaining about the book I’m reading because I really really dislike quite that much repetition. I’m hoping that there’s some more approachable content in the rest of it that I can use to formulate some of my own thoughts and opinions, because I really do feel like something is wrong in my approach to rest and work in my life.

Already – and because these books usually start with the main point and then spend 300 pages disappointingly going over and over just that again – I have a couple of morsels of thought:

  1. Rest is necessary for work
  2. Probably more than we instinctively think
  3. There are “good” and “bad” types of rest
  4. “Good” rest is “active” (though I’m not yet sure about what this exactly means)

I guess I don’t really need a book to tell me that “I’m doing it wrong” when it comes to my work, leisure, hobby, creativity stuff. I feel frustrated and unaccomplished on nearly a daily basis. No, not nearly. Exactly. I think I even know the things that are “wrong”, and – I was about to say “but I don’t know how to change them”, but actually – and I even suspect I know how to change them. I just don’t want to.

Want is a weird word to apply to stuff like this. Like, I do I do I do have the desire to change and be a better person, be a more productive person, be a happier more present person. In fact, if you asked me my current life focus, it’s all about that. But.

I’m not doing it.

And I can only conclude that I’m not doing it because somehow I don’t want to. Or I’m frightened to, or I think there’s more to be gained in not changing. Or maybe it’s just that inertia is such an incredibly powerful force.

I think it doesn’t take very long of doing things a certain way before they feel like the only way of doing things, before they even feel like the only way you have ever done things.

The life I’m living at the moment feels drawn to grooves and routines – and that’s probably to do with sustainability. If we do more of “the same” things, it enables us to fit a little more into the day, or to fit things more easily into the day. Also, children seem to be really drawn to routine. It’s comforting to them and makes them feel secure and safe.

The problem with grooves is that when you wear into them they might change into ruts. And I live in terminal fear of being stuck in a rut. It doesn’t take many repeitions for me to view the groove of a well-oiled life as a boring old trudge along a trench into old age and death.

Maybe I just need to shift my focus about the whole damned thing. Be more accepting, ladidadida. Anyway, all this in preparation for the onslaught of iteration that lies in the coming school months.

To infinity!

(BTW, have you noticed my recent images? I’m all about Inspirobot now.)