I slept. G. took the unsick child to to school and then went off for a tooth extraction. I told the sick child we needed to go back to sleep and promptly conked out for three hours.
I woke at intervals to fetch milk and dictate iPad stopping time and evaluate drawings, but returned promptly to my comatose state each time. Way more easily than I ever manage to do at night time. Goddamn this society and it’s expected waking hours. Because I feel so good! I feel so alive and human and myself, like my whole psyche has just taken a steamy shower and emerged refreshed and renewed.
I’m not bursting with manic energy and running around the place or anything like that. The same drains on my system and physical abilities are still in place, and I still have aches in my hips and back, but I just feel so so much better in my brain. I feel like knocking on doors and proselytising to the world: Have YOU heard the good news about getting enough sleep? Have you accepted sleep as your personal saviour. Seriously, people don’t know! And even when we know, we forget so very very quickly.
We do these false budgets for ourselves where we see waking time as the ultimate resource to be gathered unto ourselves – regardless of whether we’re squandering that resource on useless pursuits like refreshing Twitter or whatever – it’s our waketime currency and we’re not giving it up to those goddamned socialist sleep-hours.
Or whatever. You get what I’m saying, right? Or have I gone insane with the effects of the magic sleep-drug?
Now though, I’ve got to take stock and realise that half the day is gone and what is usually “just after breakfast” with a quiet morning ahead is now already lunchtime and not a stinky pregnant lady in the house washed!
It’s funny – for the first time in days I feel like I’ve the brain power and mental energy to tackle a few of the less braindead tasks on my to-do list, which I’ve been putting off for far too long, but now I don’t feel like I have the time! But I suppose what I might do is do one of them, because one is better than none and then just take it from there.
The clouds of long-term fatigue and hormonal and child-germ headaches are starting to roll in already and I’ve only been awake for an hour, so I don’t know if this good mood and refreshed feeling with last the duration of the day, but it’s given me a good head start. Normally I start the day with a level of fatigue more consistent with bedtime and it just goes downhill from there until I finally drag to a grinding halt sometime shortly after dinner.
And you know what I don’t usually do when I get to that point of exhaustion? Go the fuck to sleep. The thing is – I’m not completely unreasonable here, and sometimes I even will take a brief half hour or so of a nap in the middle of the day, but in general it feels like it’s not worth the sleep inertia that comes with it and it feels easier to just push through.
What if I explored napping when I need to (if it’s possible) and if I then find myself wide awake in the middle of the night, well just accept that and get up and do some of the stuff that I had no energy for during the day?
I’m pretty reticent to do something like that in case I end up at all sorts of odds with society’s expected sleep schedule. After all, the rest of the world will still be running through the usual sleep-wake routine and I’m definitely going to find myself running up against times when I feel I need a nap and yet it’s just not possible due to various commitments, and will that just fuck me up even more?
I don’t know though – comparing how I felt on waking this (late) morning with how I had felt at school-getting-ready-time and how I generally feel in the mornings, I don’t really think things can get much worse! And this period of time is going to be one of the few times in life when I can maybe attempt an experiment like this.
After all, once Bubble has been born sleep will be following a definite “needs-must” routine. So why not attempt getting used to it now?